i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
