I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
