Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
