cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
are you so shy because you have an std?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
