i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
