A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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