So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
