'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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