Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
