He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
