I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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