So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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