I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
