Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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