if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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