Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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