I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
