I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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