ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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