well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
