Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
