Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
