I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
