I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
