I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
