The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
my shit smells like andre
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
