and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You ate ashes out of my bong
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
