Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
