We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
