WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
