How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Pants are for mortals
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize