You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
