Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
