woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize