Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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