he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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