if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
