And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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