i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
