The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
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