i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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