I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
This baby is an asshole
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
