Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
