Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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