on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
