Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
