trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
