Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
