Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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