I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
