I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
