Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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