i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
