she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
