She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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