we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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