hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
