why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
