I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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