I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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