You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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